My own Version of Working Mom’s Guilt (and why I Shouldn’t be Hard on Myself)

received_120300000205120920I’ve read countless articles and blogs about working mom’s guilt. Stories of not being there for your family at times because you need and want to work to earn. This is the first time that I’m going to talk about my own guilt as a working mom. It breaks my heart to leave my husband and kids at home when they’re sick.What’s more depressing is the nature of my job. I work at night. For 7 years I only get to sleep beside them during my off and when I am on leave. If you have read my first HAPPYness Project post, you already know that I dream to become a stay-at-home mom. My About page says I am a work-at-home mom wannabe. The point is, I’d like to stay at home to spend longer hours with my family. I would like to be by their side before they sleep and when they wake up in the morning. There are many things I would like to do for them like preparing Ate’s baon and helping husband get ready for work. As clingy as it may sound but that’s how I feel.

On a lighter note…..

Being a working mom is my choice. My husband did not force me to work but I know I have to. This is our bread and butter. It pays for our bills and most of our needs. I get to send my daughter to school. We save money for emergency and future use. I could not be any grateful to have a job. In spite of the never-ending stress and pressure, I love what I am doing. I learn a lot from people at my workplace- professionally and personally. I gained genuine friends. My bosses then and now were understanding when it comes to family matters. They allowed me to go on leave when it’s needed. The husband and kids have healthcards which is a huge help when it comes to our medical needs. When I had an operation back in 2012 to remove an ovarian cyst, all expenses were covered by my company. There are fun perks like free movies, free food, Mother’s Day treat, and more. Despite the ungodly hours of my job, I make sure that I am present on important events- birthdays, my and husband’s anniversary, Ate’s school meetings and activities, and other family occasions. I may not be beside my family 24/7 but I know I should not be hard on myself.

With that being said.

I realized that my life as a working mom is not bad at all. It is something I should not feel guilty about. It is the path I chose. It still aches to leave them everyday and I miss them when I am at work. But I have full faith that God will bless our plans if they are meant for us, especially the home-based job that I am preparing for. Being part of two worlds gives me joy, growth, and learning to become a better person.Whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mom, one thing is certain- we love our family so much that we do things we thought were impossible.

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21 thoughts on “My own Version of Working Mom’s Guilt (and why I Shouldn’t be Hard on Myself)

  1. Don’t feel guilty at all. You’re making sure your family doesn’t live in extreme poverty. When you do go to sleep, you may not be sleeping beside them, but you sleep with the piece of mind knowing they have a roof over their head and full tummies! That alone gives you mom of the year award! πŸ†πŸ˜Š

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  2. Yay. Oo nga ang dami natin similarities πŸ™‚ Add kita sa FB, mommy. I’ve read your post. Thank you for reminding me na maging grateful kesa tignan yung mga namimiss ko hehe. Where do yiuw work mommy Grace?

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  3. Interesting to read this now. I wrote a post about the constant nagging between SAHMs and working moms triggered by a post on FB by one of my friends. Love your post. I think working moms are amazing as you do everything and leave so much behind when going to work, yet you also get your part in regards to your work. I’m a SAHM and I’m happy I am. There is no right or wrong. Both do a great job. Both will teach their kids a great thing. Love your blog!

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  4. I worked because I needed to. It’s important for kids to know everybody has responsibility. Parents work, go to school, take care of the family. Kids have responsibilities, too. School, helping out at home, studying. We all took care of each other. It’s a good plan.

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  5. I understand this all too well. I work full time and run my own business. I feel guilty thinking I’m missing out on so much with my son. However, my husband is a stay at home dad thanks to my hard work. It is worth the sacrifice. I dreamt on staying at home but I think that wouldn’t fit the hard working person I am. I think you are wonderful and keep moving forward with your goal of being a stay at home momma!

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Val! There was a time when ny husband also stayed at home for some months. I loved it because it’s always better when he’s around. But both of us are working now . Forturnately, we still manage to work things out when it comes to time. I still feel the guilt sometimes but I just focus on loving them more and taking care of them on my rest days. More power to you, Val!

      Liked by 1 person

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