My own Version of Working Mom’s Guilt (and why I Shouldn’t be Hard on Myself)

I’ve read countless articles and blogs about working mom’s guilt. Stories of not being there for your family at times because you need and want to work to earn. This is the first time that I’m going to talk about my own guilt as a working mom. It breaks my heart to leave my husband and kids at home when they’re sick.What’s more depressing is the nature of my job. I work at night. For 7 years I only get to sleep beside them during my off and when I am on leave. If you have read my first HAPPYness Project post, you already know that I dream to become a stay-at-home mom. My About page says I am a work-at-home mom wannabe. The point is, I’d like to stay at home to spend longer hours with my family. I would like to be by their side before they sleep and when they wake up in the morning. There are many things I would like to do for them like preparing Ate’s baon and helping husband get ready for work. As clingy as it may sound but that’s how I feel.

On a lighter note…..

Being a working mom is my choice. My husband did not force me to work but I know I have to. This is our bread and butter. It pays for our bills and most of our needs. I get to send my daughter to school. We save money for emergency and future use. I could not be any grateful to have a job. In spite of the never-ending stress and pressure, I love what I am doing. I learn a lot from people at my workplace- professionally and personally. I gained genuine friends. My bosses then and now were understanding when it comes to family matters. They allowed me to go on leave when it’s needed. The husband and kids have healthcards which is a huge help when it comes to our medical needs. When I had an operation back in 2012 to remove an ovarian cyst, all expenses were covered by my company. There are fun perks like free movies, free food, Mother’s Day treat, and more. Despite the ungodly hours of my job, I make sure that I am present on important events- birthdays, my and husband’s anniversary, Ate’s school meetings and activities, and other family occasions. I may not be beside my family 24/7 but I know I should not be hard on myself.

With that being said.…

I realized that my life as a working mom is not bad at all. It is something I should not feel guilty about. It is the path I chose. It still aches to leave them everyday and I miss them when I am at work. But I have full faith that God will bless our plans if they are meant for us, especially the home-based job that I am preparing for. Being part of two worlds gives me joy, growth, and learning to become a better person.Whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mom, one thing is certain- we love our family so much that we do things we thought were impossible.