Your Not So Cheesy Marriage Tips

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good morning, Tagaytay!

With everything that’s been going on at work, a short but sweet escape from the city is what I long for. When my husband’s cousin planned a road trip two weeks ago, husband and I agreed to join him without a second thought. Did I ever mention that we own a motorcycle? It’s my husband’s second wife. Kidding. As we went on our journey from Manila to Tagaytay to Kaybiang Tunnel, I realized how marriage is similar to travelling. It is tiresome and full of bumps but wonderful. I will delay my month in review post so I can share this story.

P and I have been together for 12 years. We started as bf-gf on our teenage years and became teenage parents. What do you expect from two young, immature individuals who live under one roof? The first few years were not smooth. We argued A LOT. Money, in-laws, friends, jealousy, time, we fought over these things. We also thought about separation because it’s the only way we can get rid of each other.

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Bag of Beans

Fast forward to today, P and I are now version 2.0 haha! I can say that we are more careful with our actions and words. The both of us learned how to compromise and extend our patience. We realized that past mistakes should not hinder us from rebuilding our marriage and loving each other more.

I am no expert when it comes to giving advice about marriage and I am aware that more challenges await us. Marami pa kaming kakaining bigas, ika nga. Below are some not so cheesy marriage tips that I can share which I think would help to make our marriage last πŸ˜‰ Maybe you can find them useful, too!

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Pink is love

Involve your spouse in money matters

One of the things that I have observed when I was still an active member of a mom’s group was couples tend to fight due to money matters specific to not consulting one another before making a financial decision. Sample scenario: the husband will give money to his parents or buy something without telling his wife about it. As partners, it is just right to talk over things that impact the family’s finances.

Men might think that since they are the ones who provide for the family, they have the whole right to do whatever they want to their earnings. For me this is wrong. You and your spouse should decide where the hard-earned money should go. If you are about to lend or give some to a family member who is in need, your partner should at least be aware. If you want to buy something for yourself or for your home, tell your parnter. This DOES NOT MEAN that you have to seek your spouse’s approval all the time. The fact that you’re keeping him/her on the loop is enough to prevent an argument from starting.

When it comes to who’s supposed to keep budget, while the norm is it should be the wife, I go for who you think can handle your finances better. In our case, I divide my salary to our expenses after getting my paycheck and I give the miscellaneous part to my husband. He is the one budgeting it for our food on weekends and whatever it is that we need in our house. Money is an issue that should never destroy your relationship. If you have concerns about it, have a serious talk with your spouse to sort things out.

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happy tummy equals happy wifey

Be each other’s critic and mentor

My husband and I work in a completely different field. Everyday, we tell each other stories about how our day went and the ups and downs of our job. We listen to each other and give honest feedback. It sometimes led to petty fights which I think is healthy. Your spouse will improve if you’re honest in telling him/her the things he/she needs to change, may it be the attitude, how to deal with issues, how to communicate, and the likes. Now if we are easy to point out what’s wrong, it should not be hard for us to encourage our partners to develop their strengths and give them a kudos for their achievement, no matter how big or small. Cheer your husband or wife, give him/her a pat on the back for a job well done. This does not only apply for working couples but for stay-at-home wives and even to house husbands as well. It ain’t easy to face household chores daily so they deserve a big resounding “good job!”

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Badok in front of Kaybiang Tunnel in Maragondon, Cavite

It’s okay to go to bed angry

I think one of the most popular advice to couples is never go to bed angry. While it is a good practice, I believe that it is absolutely okay to go to bed angry. It is not because we let pride take over but, there are serious matters that cannot be resolved easily. You don’t need to force yourself to be okay and shut up just so you can sleep together “peacefully”. There were numerous times when me and my husband slept hating each other. The next morning, we would discuss the cause of misunderstanding and fix the problem. We have to let our emotions subside to straighten things out without shouting and hurting your partner with awful words.

 

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The gang

Allow your spouse to have some “me-time”

While it’s better when we do relaxing activities with our partner together, it is also important to have your husband or wife get some me-time. Let your spouse hang out with his/her friends. Catching up with old friends is one of the simplest but best stress relievers. Everybody needs a break. My husband drinks with our kumpares even without an occassion. As long as he does not do it often and he follows our rules, I am all for it. I join my high school and college friends’ lakad when I am available and P fetches me wherever I am. I would ask him to look after the kids kung nakakasama ako sa mga gala. Just remember to keep your priorities straight so the both of you will not go overboard.

I hope you learned something from this post. If you have marriage tips, feel free to share them. Keep the fire burning!

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48 thoughts on “Your Not So Cheesy Marriage Tips

  1. Thank you for sharing this, i love it. Haha.

    Nag away kami minsan kasi bumili sya ng shoes e manganganak na nga ako. Haha! Bumili ng sapatos worth 6k ata tapos crib ng anak nya wala pa. E un na nga lang ung bibilihin nya dahil ung iba may mga nagregalo na! Bwisit. Although may naka-allot naman na dun. Haha. Pero #1 is so true. Thankfully, it had never been an issue sa amin for maybe we both know our limits. Lagi din ako nagsasabi sa kanya kapag may gusto akong bilihin, whether para saken or kay Jhia. He sometimes gives to his parents without me knowing pero para saken ok lang naman yun kasi sila naman yun. And di naman sa savings namin nababawas. Haha. Aun.

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    1. Haha! Oo ayos lang magbigay basta hindi apektado ang kabuhayan πŸ™‚ Minsan talaga napagdadaanan sa buhay mag asawa ang away sa pera. Basta gawan agad ng paraan para di maging cause ng laging di pagkakaunawaan. For me kasi isa sa mga panget na dahilan ng paghihiwalay ang pera (although wala namang magandang dahilan ng paghihiwalay haha)

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  2. agree sa kasabihan na “never go to bed angry”, hindi sya ganun kaeffective teh! haha πŸ™‚ Dati ganon ako, pinaniniwalaan ko yon, pero mas lumalala lang ang mga bagay kapag pinipilit mong ayusin and minsan mas sumasama lang ang loob ko kapag pumapasok sa isip ko na “tinulugan nya lang ako kahit alam nyang galit ako”. Alfred and I were much better when we gave each other space, ay mali, when I gave him space pala. Kapag itinulog ko ang galit at expectations ko. Kinabukasan, saka sya magso-sorry, kapag kalmado na ako. Walang away, walang stress πŸ™‚

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    1. Iba na kasi ang genration natin hehe. Yung mga matatanda yan ang madalas na advice hehe. While totoo naman, naniniwala ako na hindi lahat ng bagay jailangan ipilit at madaliin hehe. Kapag natutulog kami na magkaaway, nagigising ako sa madalingaraw kasi yayakap na sya. And same with you sa umaga kami naguusap, less galit.

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      1. Yes. Minsan kasi nakakagawa tayo ng mga maling desisyon at nakapagsasalita ng di maganda pag mainit ang ulo. Kagaya last time haha nung gigil na gigil ako sa kanya πŸ˜‚ pero dapat talaga wag sumabay. Mas maganda yung chill muna bago mag usap nang maayos

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  3. Thanks sa mga tips Momshie Meg. I’ll take note of that para pag nagpa sakal nako, este kasal pala, alam ko na mga dapat gawin. 😊

    BTW, nice motorcycle. Kabebenta ko lang ng Yamaha Sniper ko na gamit ko for almost 8yrs. Hirap i-let go. Heheh.. And yung helmet mong LS2 na motard-type, ganyan din ang gamit ko.. ☺

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      1. Naka Raider 150 na ako ngayon. Familiar ka? Dapat Sniper pa din kukunin ko. Pero last minute nagbago isip ko. Kaya ayun, I end up with Suzuki instead of Yamaha. 5 months ko na gamit yung Raider ko pero hinahanap ko pa din si J-Lo. Huhuh..

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      2. Ah, yan ang maling stats na nasagap mo. ☺ Walang kinalaman ang model ng motor sa dalas ng aksidente. Kaya lang matunog ang Raider palagi kase sikat naman talaga sya na model.

        Sa underbone category kase ng mga motor, ang Raider at Sniper ang talagang masasabi nating nakakaangat sa lahat. Kumbaga sa TV channel, sila ang ABS at GMA. Kaya ayun, yung balita about sa kanila ang mas napapansin. Ganun po yun.. 😊

        Thanks din sa paalala. ☺

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      3. Oo, ang aksidente nandyan na talaga eh. Kaya bukod sa pag-iingat, ang importante dasal lang talaga palagi.

        Oo, maganda talaga si Badok. Kahit nga nakasakay ako sa Raider ko, pag may nakasabay akong naka Sniper, napapalingon talaga ako.. ☺

        BTW, kung may budget kayo maganda makuhanan nyo din ng comprehensive insurance si Badok. Or di kaya palagyan nyo ng alarm. Maigi na yung safe yan sa masasamang-loob.

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      4. Ay talaga? Naku, yun ang hindi ko alam. Basta ginaya ko lang din kase sila eh. Di ko alam na ganyan pala dahilan ng iba. 😁

        Pero hayaan mo na rin. Mas maiging babaeng motor na ang sakyan ni mister, wag lang, alam mo na.. LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Oo ganun yun. Kaya maging masaya na kayo kapag sa motor kami nahuhumaling. At wag nyo din kami pipigilan kapag mag-uupgrade kami ng parts & accesories.. kase mas maigi nang piston ring ang bilhin namin kesa naman ibang ring pa.. 😁

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      6. HAHAHAHAHA! Sa unang motor nya na Homda Wave pakialmera ako sa mga ginagastosnya don kaya umabot sa pointna nagtatago sha ng bininili nya haha. Buti na lang changed person nako. Charot. Ngayon sya na mismo ngpapakita ng bago nyang accessories. Tinatanong nya ko kung maganda hehe. Basta hindi sya nagkumulang sa pagpprovide keri lang kahit anong bilhin nya sa motor nya hehe.

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      7. Naku, ganyan din yung ibang mga ka-grupo ko. Tinatago pa sa misis yung mga bagong parts ng motor. 😁

        Tama yan na hindi mo na sya pinapakealaman ngayon sa motor nya. Paminsan-minsan lang naman yun, kaya pagbigyan nyo na kami sa kaligayahan namin. Mas magduda kayo kapag walang upgrade na nagaganap. Kase baka sa ibang tao napupunta yung budget.. πŸ˜„

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  4. Continue the courtship even if already married. Continue to be the person that your spouse fell in love with . Stay in shape, Don’t let yourself go.Just because one signs the marriage contract that the courtship is already final and over is dead wrong. Maintenance of the relationship is always ongoing. Its never ending work until death do us part==lol.

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      1. Siempre naman. Always think of it like doing housework and gardening. It’s never fully finished. Have to do it all over again. The only difference is that there is love involved which makes the effort all bearable. I may be single but I know what I’m talking about. You can’t look at relationship building nor love overall with rose-tinted glasses or a Pollyanna attitude. Kailangang realistic view with eyes all wide open.

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  5. Grabe, lahat ng sinabi mo dito tumpak!!! at sa tingin ko kapg nasa ganitong level na kayo ng asawa mo ibig sabihin nalagpasan nyo na ang stage ng pabebe,,, hahaha,, yung pagiging makasarili ( sa pera, trabaho, kaibigan at hobby ) pagiging maarte at away ng away… kapag, yan kaya mo ng ishare at ibigay at naging ganito na kayo katulad ng nasa blog ibig lang sabihin na huli nyo na ang isat isa, swak kayo😊

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