No matter how corny or jologs you think of Valentine’s Day, most of us still look forward to this day. Febibig is what Filipinos call February because love in our language means pag-ibig. Witty no? My blog entry for VDay last year discussed about the importance of dating your spouse. This time, I’d like to share three books that can help you get a new perspective about your marriage and your spouse. I was not able to finish reading 2 out of 3 books but will part my favorite learning from each. If you’re clueless about what to give your husband on Valentine’s Day, you can also get some ideas from this post.
1. Parang Kaning Isusubo by Ed Lapiz
Too bad I could not find my own copy. It was a wedding gift to us by my friend, Irish. I read the book three times. I often hear the saying “ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kaning isusubo na kapag ika’y napaso,pwedeng iluwa” in old movies. And this is so true. Once you marry the person you love, you will live in one roof and discover all the good and bad about your spouse. I had that episode when P and I lived together (but we’re not married yet that time) “Ay juiceko ang hirap pala gisingin nito sa umaga!”, “Ang hilig naman nito magpaabot ng gamit kahit abot naman nya!”, ” Grabe yung damitan parang narambol na naman!”, were few observations I had when we were just starting as a couple. Actually, they remain the same until now. LOL. To be fair to him, I asked my husband about the things that I do which annoy him and he said there’s none. Another LOL. Of course I know that I piss him off
sometimes but he does not have a choice :p
My husband and I went through much worse situations before. Like what I shared on my previous posts, we thought of separation but with God’s grace, we were able to hold on to our marriage and love did and will continue to win 🙂
Lessons from the book that I always have in mind: God should always be the center of your relationship. I did not understand this concept at first but for me, it’s about loving God and being FAITHFUL to Him because by doing so, you are doing the same to your spouse and family. Second, God is your marriage’s third party. He’s the middleman. Lastly, being married does not mean you should neglect yourself. Kaya yung iba sinasabi nag-asawa lang, nalosyang na. I also experienced the losyang stage and believe me, it’s not a good feeling. Just make sure that your children are clean and presentable, too.” Ang ganda ganda, yung mga anak ang dudungis.”, is the last thing that you want to hear.
2. Letters to Karen by Dr. Charlie Shedd
I got this one from Book Sale, 5 to 6 years ago. My dad was still alive when I bought it for I remember reading it while he’s cooking. It’s about a father who wrote letters to Karen, his only daughter who got engaged. I was not able to finish the whole book though but here is my favorite advice:
“Every man has certain areas where he’s particularly pleased if his woman applauds.”
When was the last time you complimented your husband? We might think that only women need this but men want this, too. I tell my husband if he looks good in his shirt, his cooking is perfect or if the new accessory he bought for his motorcycle made it look “more handsome”. Do not be a fault-finder. You may not see a reason for you to compliment your husband everyday but at least, from time to time, let him know that he’s doing something right, just like how you want him to do the same to you.
3. Love Language Devotional by Gary Chapman
Another gift from a friend (I miss you, Jane!) This book is best read together. Last year, P and I tried to discuss some of the topics ( I think it was around August) but because of our opposite work schedule, there was not enough time to talk about the book daily. It has not been opened since then. Hopefully, when I finally have the chance to get a normal schedule, we can make time to enjoy this book everyday for one year. Learning and understanding each other’s love language will help in building better relationship and communicating effectively to your spouse.
Lesson from the book that I always have in mind:
Some 3-4 years ago, I used to just stay quiet when my husband raises his voice on me. He was so short-tempered then. When he goes home late, to avoid argument, I prefer not to speak up. Now, I send him threats thru text if he’s not home on time. Kidding! On a serious note, I believe it is important to share your feelings to your partner. Don’t zip your lips just because you do not want to open a can of worms. Maybe your spouse thinks that what he’s doing is fine since you’re not reacting. Talk. Share. One heart-to-heart session can open the door to an open communication between you and your partner.
It would not hurt if we learn from other’s experiences, especially if they have been “in the game” longer than we do and survived a lot of challenges that’s why their marriage remains unbreakable.
Keeping my promise to share Valentine’s Day gift ideas to make your husband kilig.
1. Staycation- Time to relax with your lovey even just for a night. I am sure there are promos out there. Check AirBnb. Some places that I can suggest are Sea Residences in MOA and Y2 Hotel in Makati.
2. Watch- If you have the budget, go for an original one. It is worth the price.
3. Spa- Another relaxing activity! Foot spa and whole body massage with your husband is a good idea.
4. Brief- Yes! When was the last time you checked your husband’s underwear? Baka bacon na yan, pwede na ialmusal haha!
5. Anything that your husband is interested in- If he’s into drawing, buy him charcoal pencils. If he likes motorcyles, buy him an accessory or maybe a jacket and a pair of gloves. Does he go to the gym? How about a new water bottle or a shirt? He’s your husband, you should know his kiliti *wink*
I think this is the first time that I will give something to P on VDay. It’s a passport holder (ssshh it’s our secret, he does not know yet) I will edit this post to share the picture once I have it.
Happy Febibig month! Let’s spread love and good vibes daily! Heart heart!