A friend told me that the true test of faith is not when everything goes your way. It’s actually the opposite. How long are you going to trust the Lord and His plans when what’s happening in your life is not what you prayed for?
Thoughts about quitting my job is making sleep quite impossible these days. I have this strong desire to resign and it has been on my mind for almost 3 months now. Ang tagal na no? But I’m still working in the company I consider my second home for the past 8 years. I cannot really figure out the exact reason why I made up my mind that before the year ends, I’ll say goodbye. One factor is I want to have a “normal” life. Normal for me means I get to sleep with my family and not having to worry about my future schedule for I know I will always have time for myself and the people I love. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that those who work in graveyard shift and weekends do not have a normal life. This is my personal definition of the word based on my current situation.
Te ang tagal mo na sa industriya, di ka pa ba sanay? I ask this myself from time to time. Sanay na ako at dahil I am used to this lifestyle, the environment and what I do, I crave for a different one. I want to rest for a bit then explore other opportunities.
Dami mong sinasabi e bakit hindi ka umalis?
Oh heck, I consider a lot of things- my annual increase will take effect in July and it’s an unwise move if I resign now; I’d like to take advantage of the retirement policy of my company so that my years of service can be rounded off to 9 years (if I did not have maternity and medical leaves , June is the perfect month to go); I still dont know what I will do next after my resignation; since March, we have been spending money on occasions and medical needs; we need to reserve fund for Ate’s school stuff as June is just a month away then after that, it’s Z’s birthday. Whew!
My husband assures me that it’s okay for him if I quit. There is going to be a huge adjustment in our finances but he tells me that we don’t have a choice but to get by. Yung iba nga raw nabubuhay sa kariton. That’s him being realistic or maybe he’s tired of listening to my endless rants.
Despite the stress and pressure that I am feeling right now, I thank God for surrounding my life with people who understand what I’m going through. A friend told me that if God’s answers to our prayers are inconsistent, it means no, wait or not now. I may not get everything that I want when it comes to my job but one day, I will realize that this is what I need. This is what God has planned for me.
Slowly, I am trying to accept the fact that I may need to stay longer until my plans are accomplished. It’s easier said than done but I am looking forward to better things and to make the most out of my remaining months in the company. There’s no point feeling down in the dumps as I know that holding on is a better and practical choice for now. Who knows, maybe in 4 months I’ll change my mind. Nothing’s over until it’s over 🙂